Relationships

My Mistakes In Love

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Growing up I didn’t care about girls, like any typical kid. I found it weird seeing teenagers and adult running after girls, doing what they want them to do and even “sucking face” was the most disgusting thing I saw. Seeing my younger brothers I can say that pretty much all boys are this way.

The problem with me is that, it took me several years to get interested about girls. To be specific I got in to girls when I was about 16 – 17 years old, you can say I’m an overdue bloomer. I regret it, because I lost a lot of opportunities in love department because of it. When I think back to my life, which I do a lot recently, I know a lot of girls where interested in me back then.

The first one I can think back to is O (not her real name, DAA!). She was my neighbor when I was 6; also we went to the same school. I remember the first time she saw me, she said “you’re really handsome” and you can guess what I said “leave me alone…” I’m not saying that she LOVED me but maybe, just maybe if I took the initiative… who know what would’ve happened.

Forward to three year ago, there was this girl, K, that had feelings for me but she never told me. How do I know? Simple because of the looks she gave me, when our eyes met in a classroom and of course the way she talked to me. The problem was I wasn’t interested in her (idiot).

I started developing feelings for her when she transferred to another school. It all started when I had a dream about her. No it wasn’t sexual. In my dream we just spent the day together and I simply felt happy with her. Since this is the first time I had this sort of feelings, I decided to act on them. So I took all my courage in my fingers and started chatting with her on Facebook. I even told her, implicitly, about my feelings.

I think its big achievement for me.

You see I’m the type of person that doesn’t initiate, that means that I’m not the one who will ask somebody about their day, I wait for them to do it. But lately I decided to try to be more “gutsy”. And I can tell you if you’re in the same situation that it’s worth it to leave your comfort zone.

The other day I had a good time talking to what could be my best female friend about this subject. And we have, more or less the same opinion about it. To summaries the hour long conversation: Love isn’t about playing games, showing off you’re the best couple, fighting about nonsense or even depending on another person. It’s about finding someone you can have fun with and spend some quality time with. This is how two young adults think about love.

L’amoure, is a subject that I talked about before. But since I’m entering my 20’s it’s a theme that consumes most of my life. You know that the average male thinks about sex (which is pretty much love) 19 times a day. So I’m sure it will find it way back into this blog one way or the other.

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Relationship ?

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I’ve always wondered what would be like being in a relationship. Seriously having someone with whom you can share anything and do everything. I find it a bit weird, don’t you?

All the movies I’ve watched (believe they are a lot) give a mixed message, from the love of your life to the crazy psycho. The sweet meet cue you have with a girl (or a guy). You start talking, you smile and slowly you enter the magical kingdom of Love. Where unicorns run freely in the wild and the sky is filled with a rainbow. What a great place. Those first months with that person that makes you crazy, WOW. You call them all the time; you talk about your feelings and all of that mushy stuff.

I always hear couples say to each other “when you’re not around I can’t breathe”. Seriously, you CAN’T BREATH. So when the two of you are apart you can’t inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. I find these kinds of, let say feelings stupid. I had a teacher who told me that if someone expresses his feelings to you, to see if they’re truffle: put your hand on theirs and ask them repeat. If he (or she) is dishonest they will make an excuse to remove their hand. I’ve yet to try this trick but feel free to use it and tell me how it goes.

I really get mad when I hear about other people’s relationship, I don’t know if it’s jealousy or something else but I just get mad. The other day at school I overheard some girls talking about how they are in ‘loove’, it got me pissed off for no reason.

ImageThe funny thing is I’ve had my heart broking without being in a relationship, wired. It happed because of  the phenomenon that we call ‘having a crush’. Isn’t it worse? We all had them if you care to admit it or not, on our teachers (good times), neighbors, parent’s friends… But the worst thing is having towards a friend. It sucks when you find your crush with someone else, and the funny thing you can’t say squat about it. It just sucks.

In conclusion I want to assure you that I don’t want to be in a relationship. But if someone wants to be in one with me, in that case I would be up for it 🙂