Funny

The Apocalypse isn’t that bad

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ImageRecently the media is pushing a negative image of the post apocalyptic world, with its TV shows The Walking Dead, movies World War Z and so many others. I want to take this opportunity to show you the real post apocalyptic world. Wouldn’t the Post-apocalyptic period be cool, think about it for a minute, no more government and no more responsibility. So in my opinion this is what the post-apocalyptic world is bringing to the table.

=Firstly we’ll have to go vegan, the meat will be nonexistent and the only supply left would be at large price. When I say price I’m not talking about money. The world economy would turn towards trading; you got to give something to get something. This is where women will have the advantage. I’m not saying it would be easy, we will run into many obstacles. The uncivilized of us will try cannibalism, so we will kill them

 Also we will have the possibility to see the world (or what is left of it) for no cost. Imagine seeing this ad “Have you ever wanted to see Mexico, visit France? Don’t wait anymore pick your backpack and start marching”. Everybody would do it in a heartbeat and we would get a bit of exercise out of it.would turn towards trading; you got to give something to get something. This is where women will have the advantage. I’m not saying it would be easy, we will run into many obstacles. The uncivilized of us will try cannibalism, so we will kill them.

Solidarity, we will have to stay in groups to survive and fight. This will make us come a lot closer and have deeper relationships with others. Don’t you see how great it would be having a bunch of people around you all the time, sleeping together, killing together; eating together that would be the best time of your life.

So don’t let the media pollute your image of the post apocalyptic world. Beneath all that blood, murder, rape and starvation it’s just another perfect world for you and your children to live happily ever after (or until the zombies find you).

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Monkey Attack

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About 9 years ago our neighborhood was terrorized by an escaped monkey. It was one of our neighbors that had it as pet, but the sneaky bastard found a way to escape (a regular Michael Scofield). So for a week or so the monkey, brook into houses, stole food and beat down some pets.

Let’s skip to when my sister and I came face to face with HIM. It was a regular Saturday morning; Dad went to meet some friends and mom left to buy some groceries. It was just me, my sister and our dog Bobbi. We were watching some Cartoon; I think it was samurai Jack, when we heard some noise coming from the back yard. We taught it was nothing, and then we heard something break.

Bobbi ran out and started barking, we flowed him. Arriving at the backdoor we saw the beast from hell, the demon monkey (I know it sounds a bit dramatic, but remember I was just 5 or 6 year old).

103ae317aacb5e55671933f62411b5fc686ab5f5b7f78ec00b8e77ffb8fd63afSo we’ve done the same thing you would’ve done in our place, we RAN, to my bedroom. We closed the door, stood in a corner, hugged each other and started screaming for mom.

Meanwhile, Bobbi was fighting this intruder. He managed to scare him away. Then our brave savior came to the door to let us know everything was okay. But we were to scare to do it. We stayed there for an hour until our mother came back.

This was the day I faced danger… and ran away from it as any reasonable person would do.