Tonight is the night and it’s going to happen again and again. I’m having what I call “the up feeling”, you don’t know it. Well to keep it short it’s that surge of inspiration and motivation that makes you feel like you could do anything and overcome any difficulties the universe throws at your face. If my calculations are right I get it once a week, and it’s followed immediately by “the down feeling”. You guessed it right it’s the exact opposite of the first one. It’s just that feeling of boredom, discouragement and mostly depression that we love and value. But I fought throw to write this post that will be soon forgotten in this blogosphere.
Just a couple hours ago I was planning on studying much harder and getting ready to start my own business. Amazing ideas were flying in my head, I was gonna create this, invent that … I was just about to start my own t-shirt shop, WOW what an original idea. I was all hyped-up and excited about it. Last month i was trying to create a revolutionary app that will change the world, and of course make me rich. Believe me I spent hours studying about programming languages, servers, Java, Object-C…
I can honestly say that is my brain was a movie, I’d be blockbuster.
But soon later I was like “It sounds like a lot of works”. That urge was quickly silenced by sadness, thoughts of “what did I do with my life” and mostly hugger (I get really hungry after all this turmoil) . The roller coaster that is my feelings took a plunge into some dark waters.
What I want scientist to do is take my “up feeling” and synthesize to a drug. So whenever I’m feeling down I’d take a pill and up we go. Wait a minute, I think they already have that drug… its cocaine. Should i start using?
I’ve always wondered what would be like being in a relationship. Seriously having someone with whom you can share anything and do everything. I find it a bit weird, don’t you?
All the movies I’ve watched (believe they are a lot) give a mixed message, from the love of your life to the crazy psycho. The sweet meet cue you have with a girl (or a guy). You start talking, you smile and slowly you enter the magical kingdom of Love. Where unicorns run freely in the wild and the sky is filled with a rainbow. What a great place. Those first months with that person that makes you crazy, WOW. You call them all the time; you talk about your feelings and all of that mushy stuff.
I always hear couples say to each other “when you’re not around I can’t breathe”. Seriously, you CAN’T BREATH. So when the two of you are apart you can’t inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. I find these kinds of, let say feelings stupid. I had a teacher who told me that if someone expresses his feelings to you, to see if they’re truffle: put your hand on theirs and ask them repeat. If he (or she) is dishonest they will make an excuse to remove their hand. I’ve yet to try this trick but feel free to use it and tell me how it goes.
I really get mad when I hear about other people’s relationship, I don’t know if it’s jealousy or something else but I just get mad. The other day at school I overheard some girls talking about how they are in ‘loove’, it got me pissed off for no reason.
The funny thing is I’ve had my heart broking without being in a relationship, wired. It happed because of the phenomenon that we call ‘having a crush’. Isn’t it worse? We all had them if you care to admit it or not, on our teachers (good times), neighbors, parent’s friends… But the worst thing is having towards a friend. It sucks when you find your crush with someone else, and the funny thing you can’t say squat about it. It just sucks.
In conclusion I want to assure you that I don’t want to be in a relationship. But if someone wants to be in one with me, in that case I would be up for it 🙂